Me On Mission???

Today was such a wonderful day in the Lord's presence for me. You see, today at church, God used about 15 young people to break my heart, but in a good way. Today we had some children from World Hope International come to our church and sing songs of praise and tell us their stories. All these children looked to be younger than 14 or so (though I don't know for certain, their ages.) They all had such a heart for God, and His Word! All this despite the fact that most of them were orphans, or abandoned by their parents.

You may wonder why this broke my heart, besides the obvious, which is the fact that they were so young, to know such pain. Well I'll tell you. Even before this last pregnancy, I felt God giving me a heart for orphans. I had looked into foster parenting, and even briefly looked into adoption. I felt that though, so far as I know, I am still able to have my own children naturally, there are those children out there that I can have such an impact on, if I will but open my heart. Open my heart to the fact that there is a good possibility that it could be broken in a bad way. Not all foster children are able to be adopted, and I never felt like I would be willing to risk that heartache. The heartache of opening my home and my heart and then having that child leave me.

Today, God has moved within me to maybe step outside that comfort zone. And perhaps to open myself up to that very possibility. Though God has blessed us with an abundance of material wealth (in comparison to some) we are not in a position to be able to afford to adopt straight out. The only way that I can see that we could open our homes an adopt, would be through a local foster-adopt program. (Because it costs less.)

The Lord and I had a conversation today, while I watched those children through my tears. I told Him, that if this was what I was to do, then He would have to make a way. That He would have to put this on my husband's heart as well, because I know at this point, he doesn't feel the same as I do. He still feels unwilling to open his heart to the possibility of heartache. So I ask you today, please pray for discernment on our parts.

If we were to adopt a child, we more than likely would not try to have another natural child. There are so many variables to consider. I know that God has called me to be a mother, despite the fact that as a young person, I never intended to be one. (Yes, I am the same woman that has four natural children, and been pregnant seven times.) :) I am an emotional woman, so perhaps this feeling I have was not God, putting it upon my heart; but perhaps it was, and I ask for your prayers, so that I may know what He wants of me and my husband. This is just one way, that I can be "on mission." There are other ways that are easier, and less of a heartache for sure, and at some point when my children are a little older, I will go that route as well, but I wait for God's timing in this. I thank you for your prayers. Blessings to you and yours, this day.