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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Turning the Other Cheek and Forgiveness by Shalene

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' "But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. Matthew 5:38-39 NKJV

Have you ever felt wronged by someone, and had difficulty allowing the transgression to go, and forgive the person? Has their words or their actions wounded you so deeply, that you felt unable to forgive? Have you ever been certain that the harm they did was intentional, only to learn later that it was not? I've been in this position a time or two, and seen it even. It's hard to know what to say to someone when you know what they're feeling. It sounds so trite to say, "Forgive and let it go. It's not worth it." But Jesus tells us the same thing, in His Holy Word.

Though it was once said, and eye for an eye, love teaches us to forgive. God is love. To be a true Christ follower, you cannot allow the deceiver to speak lies into your life and to fill you with hatred or even condemnation. We are to love our enemies.
For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: "Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 1 Peter 2:19-23 NJKV

And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." And they divided His garments and cast lots. Luke 23:33-34 NKJV

Dr Larry Nims PhD of The BSFF Everyday Freedom eMagazine has this to say about unforgiveness:
Consider these consequences of judgment, criticism and unforgiveness.
1. We continue to feel the psychological pain of the perceived offense.
2. We block healthy communication and potential reconciliation with the "offender".
3. We perceive similar offenses by others who remind us of the offender.
4. We attract similar situations, people and injuries to ourselves.
5. We give up our personal power to others to determine how we will feel and respond (actually, we "react") in similar situations.
6. We render ourselves incapable of ever really knowing, and learning from, the full truth about the event that damaged the relationship.
7. We take added toxic negativity into our present relationships.
8. We isolate/prevent/avoid/limit ourselves from having new, more healthy, and more fulfilling relationships.
9. We become vulnerable to becoming spiteful, resentful and bitter.
10. We disrespect, distrust and devalue ourselves at deep levels of our psyches.
11. We block ourselves spiritually from receiving help and healing from our Higher Source.
12. Our own spirits and souls "shrivel up" (contract) more and more.
Most counselors could probably add several more items to this "dirty dozen"

So for those of you that have suffered from unforgiveness in your lives, I put forth my "trite" advice again: Let go and forgive. It's for your own good. My prayers are with you, and may God's blessings be upon you.

--Lord, today I pray that if there be any unforgiveness in my heart, that you help me to see it, and you help me to let it go. That you teach me to forgive others, even as you forgave me. Nothing anyone on this earth could do to me, could be worse than what I do to you everyday that I don't live as you lived. I pray this in Jesus' Holy Name. Amen



There is no MORE to this post

14 comments:

  1. That was not directed at you, my love. It was to all my readers and myself that sometimes suffer from moments of unforgiveness. I love you.

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  2. Yes it was, or you were atleast thinking of me when you wrote it. And I thank you for it.
    All my love to you!!

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  3. I'm always thinking of you. Don't you know that by now?? All my love to you as well. I saw your comment on your blog too. I'm proud of you.

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  4. Shalene - Thank you for posting yet another thought provoking post! As a rule, I am a forgiving sort, but I have this one that I haven't let go of...

    A doctor that years ago pressed us for an abortion while I was carrying Jacqui. He wouldn't let it drop in spite of his knowledge that we disagreed with his opinion and said some ugly things. So did I.

    I have clung to my unforgiveness of this man with something I can only honestly categorize as hatred. I know it's wrong and I struggle to let go... Thank you for reminding me of the importance... I will work on this some more.

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  5. Michelle, I'd like to offer a suggestion. It is one that worked for me, and perhaps will work for you as well. I'm not trying to give advice really, just know that I have had times in my life that hatred and unforgiveness were large parts of. And some would even say rightly so. I read your piece about your journal entries, and I would say, that doing something along those same lines is what you could do in this same circumstance. Write a letter to the person that you feel wronged you. Let all your feelings out in that letter and then...let it go. Don't send the letter, instead give it to God, in whatever manner works for you. That was the origin of the poem I wrote for my mom. It was one of many "letters" I wrote to her after she died. Anyway, my prayers will be with you. I may leave this over on your blog too. Not quite as much info, but the same purpose. Blessings to you.

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  6. Coincedentially, our lesson in church yesterday was on this same topic.
    I got thinking about it and I realized how much I have changed. I used to hold grudges and now I figure that it doesn't matter and just let it roll off my back.
    All, except for one issue. We have a family member that has done something unforgivable as far as I am concerned. To top it off, he is out of prison for it now and lives across the street from my in-laws. We have to see him whenever we go over to visit. Also, parts of the family talk about him like he has done nothing wrong. They figure that he has done his time and that's that. They give no consideration to the victims of his crime.
    I can try to be like Heavenly Father all I want, but this one...is going to hold me back.

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  7. I have been reading this for the past few days now and know that perhaps some of Bobby's anger was directed at my advice on both of your blogs.

    I have mentioned it to him but I feel I still owe you an apology as well.

    Know that I didn't set out to be rude, but it isn't too difficult to see how reading the comments could lead any person to the wrong conclusions.

    Please accept my apologies, and I seek your forgiveness on this episode.

    With love,

    Isaiah
    A brother-in-Christ

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  8. Forgiveness was never an issue on my part, Isaiah. But if you feel that you need my forgiveness, you most certainly have it. Never doubt that for a moment. I'm not the holding a grudge sort. :) Blessings to you brother. Shalom.

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  9. Leeann, just remember that forgiving the person doesn't necessarily make their actions ok. It just means that you aren't going to put yourself in a position of judgement over them. Just remember that as you judge, so you will be judged. Blessings to you sister.

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  10. Dear Shalene:

    I do feel better after apologizing. :) And thank you for being such great people, both you and Bobby.

    God bless you both and your family.

    Shalom Aleichem.

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  11. The article is from the perspective (predominantly) of 'past transgressions'.... It is Very difficult continueing to forgive, when an onslaught of transgressions, including pathological lieing, barages each encounter.... Said mathematically, these are not Points in time, the transgressions continue. If they were water, they would not be an isolated pool, they would be a river! :)

    It is true that Jesus suffered.... but he Knew that the end would occur... and at this moment, he can look back on it, as others can....

    Please comment on the continueing transgressions and How To Handle Them on a daily basis.

    Thanks

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  12. My Dear Anonymous, I do have an answer for you, though you do raise a good point. I will be writing a post on this very subject within the next couple of days. This is not a ploy to get you to return, only that I don't feel the comment section of this post is sufficient for answering your questions. Also, I feel that if you raise this question, then perhaps there are others too that could use an answer as well, and they may not be waiting for a comment from me. Blessings to you. I will try very hard to have an answer for you tomorrow (Wednesday.)

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  13. Dear Shalene - Thank you so much for your loving and kind reply - for your suggestion as well.

    I guess I should have perhaps clarified that I have made the effort, numerous times. I'm not harboring it in my heart, refusing to act on it or acknowledge it as wrong on my part... I have written letters, journal entries, confessed it and asked for forgiveness. It's just that in this one instance, it keeps coming back. Every time it comes up, I repeat the process, but it's still there, waiting to pop back up. I think I have laid it to rest and forgiven, and then suddenly there it is again.

    I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is because the offense came in the form of a threat against my child. Just thinking about it makes me bristle with fierce protection which then leads me down the path of all I previously mentioned.

    I guess what I meant to say was, this post made me realize that it is a process and something to not give up on, to be vigilant about. And I thank you for that - you are a gift! : )

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!! You and your comments are much appreciated!! Blessings to you!

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