If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that my husband and I are blessed with a very strong marriage, especially when you consider that it is a second marriage for both of us. We have already beaten the odds of us divorcing, based on statistics. However, even with a strong marriage, there are times when even we have a communication breakdown. One such occurence happened recently.
Not too long ago I wrote about "being on Mission" and perhaps adopting a child. I also asked that you join me in prayer, so that the Lord would put this on my husband's heart, if this was from Him. As it turns out, I found out last night, that it has been on my husband's heart, for awhile now. He has been carrying around a business card, in his wallet, of an adoption attorney! As soon as we knew we were going to miscarry our last child, he was speaking about it in one of his bible studies, and one of his study partner's wives is the attorney.
My husband and I realized last night, that sometimes, we just don't talk enough. We both realized that though we aren't ready to completely give up on the idea of having another biological child, we are ready to make a commitment that if we aren't able to have another child ourselves after one (or maybe two more tries, if necessary) that we will look seriously into adoption. That we have already been so blessed by the children we have and the monetary means, that we should be willing to give up some of the monetary blessings to help a child that really needs us.
Both of us were anxious to bring the subject up to the other, out of fear. He didn't want me to think he had given up on having another one, and I didn't want him to think I was judging him. How is it then, that I was perfectly okay with telling the rest of the world what I thought?
The answer to that is easy. Though I do care to some extent what all of you have to say, none of you is close enough to me to hurt me or be hurt by me. Why is it that we hide from those we're supposed to be the most open with?
I read an article recently about this very subject. It was written by Dennis Rainey, of Family Life Today. It talked about how we all, since Adam and Eve, have played "hide and seek" not just with each other, but with God as well. About how it is natural for us to want to hide from one another, and gave some very good examples of ways in which we can overcome this desire to "hide". I do recommend this article, to anyone that finds themselves having communication breakdowns with their spouse. I also recommend it to anyone, finding themselves hiding from God. Since I've already shared the link, I won't go into any more detail. However I will say this, communication with your spouse and God is essential for a strong relationship with both. I pray God's blessings on your marriage and your faith life today. Blessings to you!
There is no "MORE" to this post.
Photo courtesy of Leonard John Matthews
I'm with you 100% on this one Shalene. I'm in my 2nd marriage it's totally opposite in every way from my 1st marriage. And, yes communication is key. We're still working on how to communicate. It's a constant work in progress.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that enlightening info.
Kimberly
We have been blessed by two children brought into our life through adoption. Tried in-vitro twice only to have a a child in our arms within 4 months each time of finding out in-vitor "failed." They are beautiful little, God-created, blessins in our lives. They challenge and love us in every way, shape and form as biological children. Our journey through adoption was easy, blessed and no-doubt ordained by God. The Lord brings families together in HIS way. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteKEEP BELIEVING
Kimberly, isn't it wonderful how God uses something man would intend for bad, to be good? Blessings to you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteAngie, I will never stop believing. I am not always a perfect Christ follower, but who is, really? I know that God has a plan for us, and if we do end up adopting, we will love that child just as we do our biological children. Thanks for stopping by. Blessings to you!
I've only been married for about 4 months (1st marriage) and no kids so I speak from NO experience or authority. In short I don't know what I'm talking about :) but I'm gonna talk anyway. haha :)
ReplyDeleteIf there is a lack of communication between us, I think it's because you play out in your head how your spouse will react (which is usually bad) and so you try to spare them from that. I don't think it always comes from the wrong motive, but from a good one - of sparing that person you love from an annoyance or pressure etc. I've done this here and there and when I finally couldn't keep my mouth shut and asked him, I found that the response was not what I thought it would be. He has surprised me many times.