TRIPLE-A RELATIONSHIP GUIDE by Gail Rodgers

True spirituality is evidenced in our lives through our relationships. It's one of the most nitty gritty places where we desperately need the Spirit of God on a daily basis.

Think of the three most important relationships in your life right now. Think of each one of the individuals in those relationships. Ask God to help you build into that relationship today in these three ways.

All relationships need the triple-A treatment. Be intentional in offering:

Appreciation

Watch for the things you can appreciate in a specific person today. Focus on the positives. Be willing to express appreciation where you can. So often we don't take the time to notice the things someone else does for us. Watch for the things you may have started to take for granted and voice your appreciation sincerely.

Attention

Be willing to slow down long enough today to give some focused attention to someone in your top three relationships. Stop to really listen when they are talking to you. Make the effort to look into their eyes when you are speaking with them or listening to them. Book a time with them to go for coffee or do something you keep meaning to do together. Be intentional about your awareness and consideration of the other person.

Affection

Give affection to these most important people in your life. Don't be stingy with hugs or pats. Speak with tenderness and kindness in your voice rather than the hurried irritation that creeps into "too busy" lives. Say "I love you" to those dearest to you often. Offer your spouse some focused time of physical attention. Touch is one of the greatest gifts we can give to those we love.

Jesus' words in John 13:35 when he said, "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another", really begins at home.

Father God,

Thank You for the special people You have put into my life. I confess that I am often too busy to take the time to apply these three A's to my relationships. Help me today to be deliberate in giving appreciation, attention and affection. May my life and my part in my relationships be characterized by Your love. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Taking Time for Personal Growth by Mary Byers

One of the paradoxes of motherhood is that what we need as mothers is often the first thing we give up in order to be mothers. This is certainly true of making time for our own spiritual and personal growth. We often forego it in order to focus more fully on our children. It's a dilemma: see to your own needs, or see to theirs.

When my youngest child was in preschool, I decided to take tap dancing lessons. Doing so was the first time since the birth of my children that I acknowledged I didn't cease to exist the moment they were born—and admitted I could continue to have a life outside my role as "mom." It's a lesson my mom modeled for me, but until I was a mother myself, I didn't understand it.

A search for the “me” in mother.

It’s a lesson we can learn from. If we’re not looking for the “me” in mother, we end up simply seeing the “other” in mother. We don’t have to give ourselves over completely to our children. It is possible to continue to exist separately from them, even as we are existing for them.

You still have things to learn. Things to experience. Things to do. And it’s important that your children know this. Self-growth is the way we show our children that life doesn’t stop just because we are adults--that the process of becoming who God intends us to be is life long.

The lesson is best shared by modeling. It may be as simple as letting your children see you reading a book. Or studying your Bible. Or looking up something in the dictionary. Or digging in your garden. Or knitting your first scarf. Or beading a bracelet. Or identifying a bird in your backyard. Or decorating a cake. Or making a soufflé. Or organizing a school party. What they see is not important. That they see it is.

Though modeling growth for your children is important for them, it’s also important for you. Your own growth is like a well of cool, refreshing water. When you are filled with energy, enthusiasm, and excitement, you can let your kids and spouse drink from your well without worrying if there will be enough water for everyone. You know there will be. And though you might have to fight for the time to see to your own growth, knowing your well is full makes the fight worth it, because when we see to our own spiritual and personal growth, we can, by extension, see to the growth of our children.

Mary Byers is a professional speaker and author of the newest Hearts at Home book, The Mother Load: How to Meet Your Own Needs While Caring for Your Family, which will be released soon. She will be speaking at the 2005 Hearts at Home conferences, where she will encourage moms to take care of themselves so that they are more able to care for their families. She lives with her husband and two youngest children in central Illinois.

Copyright Hearts at Home 2006, used with permission. For more information about Hearts at Home: 1-309-888-MOMS or www.hearts-at-home.org.

THE WELL-DRESSED CHRISTIAN WOMAN by Joyce Averils

"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it" (Colossians 3:12-14, The Message).
For the past couple of weeks I've received several spring fashion catalogues in the mail. I'm pretty sure you may have received some too. The women are "decked out" from head to toe with color-coordinated accessories. The goal of these catalogues is to encourage you think about how you might look in the advertised fashions so that you will go out and buy them.

I like to shop just as much as the next woman. However, I'm careful to remind myself that while looking my best, I must not forget to make sure that I'm well-dressed spiritually too. Clothes may wear out, go out of style or no longer fit, but a beautiful spirit will last for eternity.

Some women have personal shoppers and stylists to assist them with looking their best. As a Christian, you have access to the ultimate stylist. Colossians 3:12 says that God has already picked out a wardrobe for you. You should dress in:

Compassion
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32).

Kindness
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23).

Humility
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (Proverbs 11:2).

Quiet Strength/Gentleness
"Let your gentleness be evident to all." (Philippians 4:5).

Discipline/Patience/Long Suffering
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense" (Proverbs 19:11).

Your Heavenly Father is so awesome that He even provides you with an all-purpose garment even better than your "little black dress." The Christian woman's basic, all-purpose garment is love. No matter what else you put on, Colossians 3:1 says to wear love and you will always be one of the best dressed women in the room.

Love
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).

My Challenge to You:
As you pack away your winter clothing and replace them with your spring and summer outfits, take a look at your spiritual wardrobe. Are you wearing the wardrobe God picked out for you? Is there anything that needs to be replaced? Does your all purpose garment need a little spring cleaning? Remind yourself daily that you can be a well-dressed Christian woman.

How Do You Pray, and Who Do You Pray For

Your thumb is nearest you, so begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember.



The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct, and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.



The middle finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the President as well as Leaders in business, industry, and administration. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.



The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble, or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.



And lastly comes our little finger, the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

 

Above all else, remember to PRAY!!

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-8 NLT

ALL THE GOOD THINGS By Sister Helen P. Mrosla

Philippians 1:3: "Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."

Courage is fear that has said it's prayers.

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.

Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving: "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.

One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at him and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!"

It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.

I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth.

I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing he winked at me.

That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."

At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instructions in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in the third.

One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves--and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish the assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend."

That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much!"

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.

That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip--the weather, my experiences in general. There was a light lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and I simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began.

"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is."

Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.

I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me.

The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.

I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who had acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that" Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet, and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Philippians 1:3: "Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."

today'sTHOT============================

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

KNIT TOGETHER by Brigitte Straub

The importance and vitality of building one another up in love (according to Paul in letters to believers in Ephesus.)

For because of Him the whole body, closely joined and firmly knit together by the joints and ligaments with which it is supplied, when each part is working properly grows to full maturity, building itself up in love" (Ephesians 4:16).
As Paul instructs the body of believers in Ephesus concerning the importance and vitality in the building up of one another in love, he gives a wonderful illustration of what this looks like.
Paul uses the words "joined" and "knit together" to describe the close bonds with one another. And again, in Colossians 2:2, he says, "For my concern is that their hearts may be encouraged as they are knit together in love."
Something spiritual occurs as two souls form a bond with one another. This can be a good thing as we see in the godly relationship of David and Jonathan. "The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul" (1 Samuel 18:1).
We are also warned in Proverbs 1:10, 15 about bonds with the wrong types of friends: "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent... my son, do not walk in the way with them keep your foot from their path." 1 Corinthians 15:33 says we must not entertain evil company, for they corrupt good habits.
A good friendship will produce good fruit. "You will know them by their fruits... every good tree produces good fruit , but a bad tree bears bad fruit" (Mathew 7:16a, 17). What kind of people are you close with? Who do you have a strong bond with? Perhaps there is a friendship that needs re-evaluating.

Ask the Holy Spirit if there is anyone or anything in your life that you are connected with that takes the place of where God should be in your life. Ask Him to tear down anything that is ungodly, so He becomes all in your life. And then ask Him to show you those with whom should have close friendships. As He places people in your life that He himself has appointed, thank Him, and lift one another up in love.

Prayer: Father, we love You and thank You for sending Your Son, as a revealer of Who You are. We thank You that we are able to experience a close, intimate relationship with You. Holy Spirit, please guide us in the area of friendships, that they would be godly and form good fruit. Show us any areas in our life that are not pleasing to You so we may learn to walk the way You have called us to. In Jesus' name, amen.

SpiritualGrowth

 

PrayerBasket

If you would like to have some quiet time with God each day,consider putting together a prayer basket which contains a small Bible, adevotional, prayer journal, highlighter, pen, and notecards to send to a friendor family member you have prayed for. Even if you just have five minutes ofquiet time during the day, you'll be more likely to keep your appointment withGod if everything that helps you focus on Him is in oneplace.

Be Generous

Be generous with yourtime, your praise, and your prayers. My son has often reminded me, "Hey mom,when are YOU gonna slow down? Did you pray yet today?" Gotta love a kid who atage 7 can re-ground you! He knows when I have not stopped to pray, refocus, andre-energize!

Daily BibleStories

Start eachday off right by beginning it with time in God's Word. Each morningas you sitdown together for breakfast, spend some time reading Bible stories to yourchildren. Depending on the age of your kids, read from a Bible Story Book,Bible, or devotional that includes a Bible passage with a life applicationstory. Take a moment to recite a memoryverse and end withashortprayer.

"Copyright Hearts at Home 2006, used with permission. For more information about Hearts at Home: 1-309-888-MOMS or www.hearts-at-home.org."