Woman to Woman: Daddy's Home by Tracy Eyster

(I received this article from my husband today, who told me I do a great job of this, and thought I might find it amusing to read. I wanted to share it with all my female readers, because it does work!)


You'll be amazed at how a mom can set up Daddy as the hero of the house in his children’s eyes ... and you'll be amazed at what this will do for your man.

Have you ever thought about what your husband’s day must be like?

The grouchy people he no doubt encounters each day, the problems at work, sitting in traffic. I bet many husbands can’t wait to get away from all that nonsense and just get home and be with the family.

So what does your husband come home to at the end of a hard workday? If he’s like a lot of husbands, I would imagine that many days, if not most, he comes home to a messy house, preoccupied children, and a grumpy wife.

Complete chaos ... anarchy ... madness ... delirious fun ... that’s our home while Daddy’s at work. I believe that a home should be a learning environment, full of activity. Sometimes that means things will be messy!

But when it’s almost time for Daddy to come home, that’s your chance to change the environment. Whenever you can, I suggest you teach your children the excitement of “Daddy’s home” and work together to ready your home, yourselves, and greet Daddy properly with unabandoned enthusiasm. The difference in your husband’s desire to hurry home from work will be swift and dramatic.

What does unabandoned enthusiasm look like? Well first, let me tell you what it doesn’t look like: It doesn’t look like Daddy walking in the door to a house strewn with toys, a kitchen laden with leftover, half-eaten food products, and a wife and children who look like they’ve spent the day in a wind tunnel.

What if your children learned from you that Daddy is so special and we are so excited for him to come home that we are going to do our very best to be ready to greet him with a tidy home, clean faces, and big smiles? You’d be amazed at what this will do for your man.


Training Your Children

God’s Word tells us that children are to honor their parents—it’s one of the Ten Commandments. Ephesians 6:2-3 tells us that “honor your father and mother” is the “first commandment with a promise”—that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Mom, this is your opportunity to teach and model for your children how they can honor their father … and it comes with a promise. It doesn’t get any better than that!

I’ve been fortunate to be able to stay at home with my children, and I admit I’m mostly speaking to other full-time moms here. But this idea is so easy that anyone can use it. All you need are a few large empty baskets strategically placed throughout your home, the ability to shout and encourage like a cheerleader, and one or more children eager to participate in a big surprise. And all children love being part of a surprise!

It goes something like this. Explain to your husband that it is very important for you to know his exact arrival time and request that he give you at least a 15-minute warning call. At the appointed time yell, “What time is it?” The children shout back, “It’s almost time for Daddy to be home!” That’s your call to action—you announce, “Okay kids, let’s see how fast we can get everything ready for Daddy!”

This is where the empty baskets come into play. The children are charged with scurrying around and placing all the toys and clutter in the baskets. Don’t worry if things get “mixed up”—you can sort it out after the little ones are in bed. (And let’s face it—it’ll just be mixed up and back on the floor tomorrow.) You concentrate on cleaning the kitchen.

As a team, scamper from room to room and be sure “all systems are go.” Shout, “to the bathroom” and everyone gets a quick wipe of the face, comb of the hair, quick change of a shirt if it’s laden with strawberry stains and various unknown substances. And if you’ve spent the day in a sweat suit and pony tail, now’s the time to put on a decent outfit, run a comb through your hair, and pull yourself together.

Be sure to talk to your kids about how much you love Daddy and that you want to look pretty and give him kisses when he gets home. They’ll giggle, and you may get a few “gross” comments, but trust me ... they love that you love their Daddy! And you are teaching them something about the marriage relationship and meeting others needs and expectations.

Then it becomes a “waiting by the window” game, much like waiting to go check out what’s under the Christmas tree. When Daddy opens the door you all scream, “Daddy’s home” and you all run and smother him with kisses and hugs and tell him how much you missed him and how happy you are that he’s home. All the day’s strife will melt off of him and he’ll glow. And your children have just honored their parents.

In less than a week, they’ll have the routine figured out and be expectantly waiting to hear you yell, “What time is it?” Yes, this can be done daily; they won’t tire of the process. Remember, these are the same children who want the same book read to them fourteen times a day. If you teach your children that it's a big deal when Daddy comes home, then it will be ... for all of you.

I double dog dare you to try it!

I've Got Marriage on My Mind by Shalene

In my efforts to be ready for the marriage of my friend and her fiance, I must admit that I'm thinking about marriage quite a bit. I'm thinking about the fact that Christian divorce rates are actually, in come cases, higher than that of non-Christians! I'm thinking that there must be something that we're not remembering. I'm thinking about my own marriage and how blessed we are to have such a strong marriage, seven years after we met, especially with the way it started out.

My husband and I were not believers when we met. My divorce from my first spouse was not even final yet (we had only been separated for a year.) My husband's (to- be) divorce was not final yet either. And yet, we began a relationship that included premarital sex. We had a child together out of wedlock, and we lived together before marriage. Now add all those together with the simple fact that it was to be a second marriage for both of us, and it would seem that it was doomed from the start. And it could have been.

I've made a point to go back and think about what it was that has made our marriage strong, and thankfully that's easy to figure out. Number one, first and foremost, is that we have both made God number one in our individual lives. Dr. Gary Smalley, in his book "I Promise" likens it to a love triangle. Picture a triangle with God at the top and each partner at one of the other corners. As you both move up the sides of the triangle, towards God, you are also moving closer to one another. Number two, has been, I think, the fact that we did a 6 week study of that same book.

This is not an advertisement of that book (though you can buy the book, by clicking on the link to the left, under Marriage Resources.) :) But I do recommend it to anyone that is married or even thinking about getting married. The entire book is built around five "Promises". Those promises are the following:

• I Promise to conform my beliefs to God's Truths
• I Promise to be filled by God
• I Promise to find God's best in every trial
• I Promise to listen and communicate with love
• I Promise to serve you all the days of my life

At the end of the study, you both write a "Marriage Constitution" in which you write out those promises and you both sign it. It can then be framed and hung on a wall, as a declaration to all, the promises you have made to each other. Though we have not hung ours yet (I'm still waiting for my wonderful hubby to build me a frame for it, but he's terribly overworked as it is) we have printed it up and "antiqued" it, so that it looks like one of those old parchment documents. I'm not going to go in to how these 5 promises are applied, but I will include here, our Marriage Constitution, because I do feel that that is another reason that our marriage is strong. We both have a strong desire to honor and love one another publicly. I also pray that even if you do not read the book, that the words of our Marriage Constitution will give you the necessary steps to strengthen your own marriage. So with that said, here for your reading pleasure:

Our Marriage Constitution

Preamble: On April 4, 2003, we stood together to be wed, and promised to love, honor and cherish one another until death do us part. Now that we both have put Jesus Christ in the center of our marriage and our family, we want to affirm that commitment to each other here, today. Each of us loves the other, more than we would have ever thought possible, and we each want the other to know that we honor them and place them above all others in our lives. Our goal is to create in our marriage a place of safety and security, a place in which we can share everything without fear and grow together in deeper love and intimacy. To confirm our commitment to this goal, we both willingly make these five solemn vows to the other.

I Promise: to conform my beliefs to God’s truth. I will gain control of my outlook, emotions and happiness by continually examining my deepest beliefs and striving to make them consistent with what God’s Word says. I take sole responsibility for my beliefs with the understanding that they, not you, determine my emotions, expectations, and actions. Thus I lift from you the burden of being responsible for me.

I Promise: to be filled by God. I will keep God in my heart as my source of joy and love. My love for you will be His love flowing through me. I will receive your love as overflow from Him. I will base the security of our marriage on making Christ my Lord and His will my own. I will strive to conform to His image and follow all His commands, especially the one to love you and care for you all the days of my life. (Ephesians 5:25-26; Philippians 4:19)

I Promise: to find God’s best in every trial. I give you the security of knowing that the negative things that happen in our marriage will not destroy my love for you. I will not expect perfection from you, but will use even irritations between us as opportunities to see my blind spots and foster my personal growth. I will call on the power of Christ to root out my weaknesses. (Romans 8:28; James 1:12; Romans 5:3-5)

I Promise: to listen and communicate with love. I will value every word you speak as a window to your heart. I will honor your opinions, feelings, needs, and beliefs so that you will feel free to speak honestly and openly with full security in my love for you. I will be open with you in communicating my heart and will consider your feelings and needs in all my words. (Ephesians 4:29)

I Promise: to serve you all the days of my life. I will fight all tendencies toward selfishness in me and focus on keeping you, your needs, and your goals before me at all times. I will serve you willingly and wholeheartedly, just as Christ served His disciples not only in small, humble ways, but also by giving His life for them and for us as well. (Galatians 5:13)

--Lord, I pray today that my marriage and those of my readers are strengthened today and every day. That every marriage out there, learns to put you first and each other second, as You instructed. I pray that these words will edify each person that reads them, and I thank You for the blessings that my marriage has been for me and my husband. I thank you every day for him. I thank You for the chance to further Your Kingdom. I thank You for the responsibility to glorify Your Name above all other. I pray these things in Jesus' Holy Name. Amen.