Forgiveness Part 2 by Shalene

I received a request yesterday by an Anonymous commenter on my article Turning the Other Cheek and Forgiveness:

Anonymous said... The article is from the perspective (predominantly) of 'past transgressions'.... It is Very difficult continuing to forgive, when an onslaught of transgressions, including pathological lying, barrages each encounter.... Said mathematically, these are not Points in time, the transgressions continue. If they were water, they would not be an isolated pool, they would be a river! :) It is true that Jesus suffered.... but he Knew that the end would occur... and at this moment, he can look back on it, as others can.... Please comment on the continuing transgressions and How To Handle Them on a daily basis.

So I am going to attempt to address this comment here today. First, let's address when it's OK not to forgive. In what circumstances are we allowed to say, "Enough is Enough. I cannot forgive anymore"?

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV

Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV (see also remainder of chapter for parable of the king and his stewards)

We can clearly see from these two Scriptures (both of which are Jesus' words) that there is no point at which we can say "I do NOT forgive." For as we forgive, so shall He. It does not matter how many times, or how continuously someone sins against us, or hurts us. I do know how difficult it is to forgive grievous wrongs done to you. I have forgiven many things done to me that most would not forgive. And many would agree that I would be justified, had I not been able to forgive. However, that is not what God's Word teaches us. Being a Christ follower means to live as Christ did. Forgiving ALL. Those worthy AND unworthy of our forgiveness.

Now let me address the commenter directly. It was stated that "Jesus could see the end and look back on it." First of all, the end has not come yet. Secondly, we all STILL sin against Him. The end will not come until He returns and stomps out sin once and for all. We ALL still sin against Him continuously, as in "a river, not an isolated pool." How to deal with it? That is not an easy question to answer, as I do not know your exact situation. I am not a professional counselor, nor even a professional minister, however, I will attempt to help you in this issue, based on my limited knowledge from your comments, and my extensive knowledge of the human psyche. (I've been in enough counseling, that I could be one, I suppose.) :)

Let's take pathological lying first. Pathological lying is much like an addiction and is in fact considered by some to be one. And must be addressed in the same manner. There are many roots behind the possible reasons for the person committing this offense. Please see Wikipedia's definition. And for my second point, more often than not, a person is not a pathological liar, but a compulsive one. This is often the result of childhood issues. In which a person developed the habit as a child, and does not even think to tell the truth- even when it doesn't matter. Please see this article as well.

I cannot give you any advice about your situation, as I don't know the details, and therefore cannot begin to tell you what can be done about the situation. However, I can say this: When you are faced with continuous offenses, it is times like these when your attention must be focused on love. Unconditional Love. The only way you can keep your focus on unconditionally loving a person, is to focus on the One that is the only one truly able to do so. God. Pray for forgiveness, pray over the circumstances, and get counseling for yourself, and the offender if possible. There are just some things that don't work themselves out. And remember this: there is a Divine Plan for all that you go through, and it may be that God is working on you (or the person doing the offending) in this situation. Everything works for the good of those that love Him. Remember too, that forgiving a person does not make their actions OK. It just means that you continue to love them regardless.

I pray this article has helped all those that suffer from continued transgressions, and if I can be of any more help, please feel free to contact me at info@prv31woman.org I will keep all information completely confidential.

--Lord, today I pray for a forgiving heart for all of us. I pray that you give us a Spirit of forgiveness, as You have each and every day. I pray that any unforgiveness in my heart, and the hearts of my readers would be brought to light, and that Your Divine Counsel, would help in these situations. You alone, Lord, know our hearts and our motivations, and You alone, Lord can change them. I pray these things in Jesus' Holy Name. Amen.