What Is A Proverbs 31 Woman Wannabe?

This post is for Ryan (the atheist) and for anyone else that wants to know exactly what I mean when I say I am a "Proverbs 31 Woman Wannabe".

First, I must share with you what Proverbs 31 says about this kind of woman:

Virtuousness:
Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
Pro 31:12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

Industriousness:
Pro 31:13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.
Pro 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.
Pro 31:19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.
Pro 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.
Pro 31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.

Homemaker:
Pro 31:14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar.
Pro 31:15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.
Pro 31:21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
Pro 31:22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Pro 31:27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Godliness:
Pro 31:17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.
Pro 31:20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.
Pro 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
Pro 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:
Pro 31:29 "Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all."
Pro 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Now, to be sure, I do not fit every single one of these verses. But I would like to. I do not spin my own fabrics, and that's something I'm not so sure I would want to do. However, the idea of being able to make clothing for my family, that is both pretty and fashionable, and saves our family money is something that at some point I hope to do.

I do not have maidservants, either. That would be nice, but I'd probably just end up talking to them all day, rather than gettig anything done. I'm just a social person that way.

I do want to be a virtuous wife. I want my husband and children to praise me; to in essence be able to say truthfully that I am a good wife and mother.

I yearn to reach out to the poor, and to help them. I pray that I can always speak about my Lord with kindness and gentleness.
I strive each day not to be lazy or idle (though I don't always succeed.)

I pray each day that my husband will be successful in everything he endeavors, and he is (though not necessarily through anything that I do.) I pray each day that I am a help to him in that area, and never a hindrance. I strive each day to earn his trust, and to not do evil towards him, so that he always trusts me.

It is always on my mind that my outer "beauty" may fade, and not everyone will see me as charming, however that will not matter, because I will have beauty on the inside. My Lord will have provided it.

I would also like to help my husband provide for our family and our future, by making money doing something worthwhile, that also glorifies the Lord.

And lastly, but most definitely not least, I want to always glorify the Lord, and continue to walk the narrow path of His ways.

This to me is what it means to be a Proverbs 31 Woman, and why I am a Wannabe. I probably will never actually make it to Proverbs 31 Woman status in my life, and I doubt that the original Proverbs 31 Woman did it all at once- we already know she didn't do it all on her own. If you strive to be a Proverbs 31 Woman, consider yourself welcomed to the "Wannabe club". All Wannabe's welcome. If you've already arrived, and are no longer a Wannabe, please do share your success story, I'm sure we'd all like to hear how we can succeed too. Blessing to you all.

There is no "MORE" to this post.

Photo courtesy of litlnemo

Entitlement and Marriage by Shalene

There is a plethora of advice out there for marriages these days. We are all aware of just how important a healthy marriage is, especially in light of the high divorce rates in both Christian and non- Christain marriages. We learn about "Love Languages", we learn about "seasons" of marriages, we learn about "promises" we can make to one another, but I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that the only advice and wisdom we need to have healthy marriages can be found in the Bible, if we will but apply it in our lives, and apply it consistently.

Mutual Submission- Having a Servant's Heart Ephesians 5:18-29 NKJV

These verses tell us how we are to behave towards our spouses. Women are to submit to their husbands, as they do to the Lord. Knowing that a faithful man will be mutually submissive in his love for her. It's not difficult to be submissive to a faithful man, but what if he's not, or not enough? What then? Well, to be blunt: You still have to do it. Just because one person doesn't follow God's instruction, doesn't mean you don't have to. It's like that old saying many mothers say to their children: "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" Just because you spouse doesn't behave appropriately, doesn't mean you're free to do the same. God holds us each accountable for our OWN behavior. Let me say that another way. You alone are responsible for your behavior, no one else; no matter what they do or don't do.

A Sense of Entitlement

Recently, in preparing marriage vows for a couple I am to marry, I came across this concept: it is important for a husband to learn something about receiving his wife by observing the manner in which God created Eve. God did not use a bone from Adam’s foot to suggest he should “lord it over” the wife. Nor did he take a bone from his head to suggest that Eve should “lord it over” the husband. In choosing to use Adam’s rib it is suggested that Eve was created to share life at Adam’s side, close to his heart.

Why is it that we think that our spouses owe us something, in the manner that they treat us? That makes no sense at all, when we think of a marriage in the biblical sense. We all have learned "The Golden Rule." Treat others as we would have them treat us. Or better yet, LOVE others as we would have them LOVE us. It doesn't say LOVE them the way they LOVE us, or treat them the way they TREAT us. God loves us no matter what we do or don't do. PERIOD. He instructs us to do the same, towards everyone- including our spouses and other family members. We MUST lose our sense of entitlement. Our thought that our actions somehow are deserving of some better treatment, only makes for weakened marriages and relationships. Only when we are able to do that, and truly love others as Christ loves us, will we have strong marriages.

Now, I am aware, as a mere sinful human, that this is not something that is easy to do. It's not always easy to do in my own marriage. However, when I do, it's amazing the changes that are wrought! I've found throughout my life that it is very difficult for a person to treat you badly, if you are consistently treating them with love and respect.

Loving Someone That Seems Unloveable

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8 NKJV

What happens in a relationship where you are constantly thinking about the bad traits of that person? It becomes your main focus. I have found this to be true time and time again. Especially, when there is something someone is doing that I don't like. When I lose focus on what is pure, lovely and of good report, I find I only see that which is not. If we would focus only on the good in our spouses, forgiving unconditionally- whether it's asked for or not, again, our marriages would be so much stronger. Now I'm not saying we should be doormats, never resolving our conflicts, but once a conflict becomes the main focus of a relationship, it becomes very hard to move past that. I like to call this having God covered glasses, as opposed to rose colored glasses. Do you remember what it was like when you first fell in love with your mate? How you thought they were just the cat's meow? Everything about them was wonderful? Well, most of the time, that doesn't change. Every one of us keeps those main good things about ourselves throughout our lives. It makes us who we are. We just forget to look for them in our spouses when we focus on the negative traits.

A Blessed Marriage by Shalene

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31NKJV

Some of you know from reading my post "The Blind Leading the Blind" that I am now an ordained minister. You would also know then, that I had no intention of using the titles that go along with that. However, aside from curiosity about how easy it would be to do, I was intrigued by the thought of being able to minister to people that I wouldn't ordinarily be able to reach because of restrictions to their access. Such as prisoners, and hospital patients that I am not related to. I also kind of liked the idea of maybe being allowed to marry people. But I hadn't pursued that at all- until yesterday.

You see, I have a very good friend that I was blessed to bring to the Lord a couple years ago. She has since moved to Oregon, but has become stronger in her faith. I like to think that part of that is my influence. (So I've got a little bit of a big head- sue me.) :) Anyway, she has been living with her fiance for a little over a year now, and though they had plans to get married, because his parents live outside the country, and have health issues that keep them from travelling right now, they postponed the wedding. I have been doing my best to subtly convince them to change their minds. They also have guardianship of a little 7 year old boy that needs to know the permanence of a marriage in the adults that have care over him.

So....yesterday, while I was speaking with her over the phone, we were discussing an upcoming trip I am making to Oregon, and one in which we would get to visit for awhile. And I just happened to mention that I could marry them because I was now legally allowed to do so (we were discussing the fact that they call themselves husband and wife, though they are not.) And Hallelujah! She said yes and so did he! So I am going to be performing my first marriage on September 8, 2007!

I have also been blessed in my own marriage these past few days- even more so than it has been from the beginning. My husband and I have made a point to pray together each day, before we start our day, and to show each other little ways that we love each other. For example, we take a date night once a week, in which no kids are allowed (very important when you have 4 kids, that always seem to be around.) I think it's important to mention here that contrary to the priority positioning in many marriages, children should not come before the spouse. When I was a child, I always resented the fact that my mother seemed to put her relationships before my sister and myself. However, I have since learned that that is the way it was intended by God. If you read the above scripture, it states "and the two shall become one flesh." That means that only God should come before the marriage. Children come right after the marriage, and everything else, after them. We also have learned to communicate our needs to each other. I am so blessed!

So today, I ask for your prayers on my marriage; that it continues to be strengthened and our love continues to grow deeper every day, and I will pray for yours as well. I also ask you to pray for the marriage that I will preside over in a couple weeks, that theirs will also be a marriage blessed by God.

--Lord, I thank you today for the marriage that you have blessed me with, and the gift that you gave me in my husband. I thank you for the 4 wonderful children you have blessed me with. I thank you for the opportunity to minister to others in the ways that you have led me to. I thank you for my friend and for the ways that you have worked in her heart these last couple years, Lord, and I know that without the Holy Spirit in their lives, nothing I could have said would have made a difference. I thank you for the opportunity to marry them, so that theirs could be a relationship blessed by You. I pray for all the marriages of the readers of this blog, that they would be strengthened daily, and blessed as well. I pray all this in Jesus Holy Name. Amen.

Everything is Beautiful by Starfield