Mask? No, Thank You.

No, this post is not about Halloween, or participating in the "festivities" associated with it. This post is about being real. Many of you know that I've gone through some really hard times lately, and much of it was of my own making. However, what you don't know, is how much better I'm doing, now that I've taken my mask completely off.

For the most part, I tried to be authentic and real, but when you get right down to the fact of the matter, I wasn't being nearly real enough. You see, I fell into that trap that so many Christians fall into. The one where we think we have to be somebody we aren't so that we can portray an image of "Christlikeness." The problem with that is, if we're portraying an image, then we are most definitely NOT being Christlike. I thank the Lord that He showed me the error of my ways.

I've become so much healthier in the last few months than I ever dreamed I could be. And I have alot farther to go. My marriage and my family have been under attack lately, and it is so reassuring to know that now that I am who I am, and not someone I think I should be, I'm able to withstand the many temptations he throws my way.

Some of the things I've been through in the last few months is rebuilding a damaged marriage (we're still working on that one, but we ARE getting there.) I've also learned that I was pregnant again, after almost a year of trying; and then learning that once again the pregnancy wasn't viable. I just had the D&C last Monday, to rid my body of the products of the pregnancy that would not leave on their own. (There was NO embryonic material...in other words, no baby. Only the gestational sac.) That was heart breaking, but I am still holding strong in the Lord.

I am learning to hold fast in the Lord, and to meditate on His Word daily. I'm learning what it truly means to have a relationship with Him. I mean REALLY and TRULY have a relationship with Him. Not some country club membership, like so many Christians have. I'm not trying to put anyone down, I just wanted to share the changes that have occurred in my own life.

It's been awhile since I posted anything here, and while I don't have any great insights to offer to anyone, other than to "check yourself" to see that the relationship you have with the Lord is real and true. It's amazing the changes that I have felt, and seen in my own life and that of my family. I just wanted to update everyone, and to let you all know that I'm still around. Just not online so much anymore. I'm learning (or re-learning) to sew, I've decided to go back to school to become a counselor, and I'm actively working my recovery. So much accomplished through the Good Lord's help. I pray you all are blessed, and I will continue to pray for all of you.